We just watched Edward Scissorhands. You know, the one with Johnny Depp, from the early 80s? Yes, that one. Best love story, ev-ar. Except that Johnny Depp is so painfully thin, that it looks like he spent 6 months taking diet pills just to get ready to make the film. It’s funny to think that he is my age, and I have watched him mature on screen, yk? And isn’t it amazing how much men change in the years between 18 and 25 after they have “stopped growing”.

The movie starts with a young girl asking her grandmother to tell her a story, and the story starts with the Avon lady finding Edward abandoned in a castle at the top of the hill. She brings him down to suburbia, and he carves (haha) out a niche for himself and tries to fit in. It works for awhile, but eventually things disintegrate and Edward retreats back to his castle, and the story doesn’t end. There’s more, but I am not telling. Just remember that Tim Burton directed and so even though the story unfolds at a good clip all through, it is the last five minutes that contain the essence. This movie should be watched once a decade, and you should make sure you forget as much about it as possible in the interim. You will never look at snow the same way again.