Tag Archive | journaling

Chair

Feb2

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Today has been adventuresome. Not in any grand change the world way, but in quiet change MY world ways. First, I introduced a friend whom I mostly keep in touch with online to the beauty that is Mighty Text. Now he can be at the computer where he needs to be, but I can be where ever I want with my phone and still be in touch.

Then I read a couple of articles online that ended up relating (again) to that concept of “house.” Am I the only one who can actually FEEL it when new synapses are formed in the brain? The good news is, the picture is coming clearer without any striving on my part, just as I suspected it would once I acknowledged the promptings.

Then I went into my room, and moved this chair 18 inches to the left, so that it was beside a flat surface to hold my coffee cup on a cup warmer. And I put these things in the chair and took this picture. I sat and read for an hour, texting with my friend. I sat and knit on these socks while watching Classic Dr. Who for an hour (can you see the two toes yet? and can you see that I am doing the feet in ribbing?).

Then I put that post-it note on my new “idea wall.” I read an article the other day about this, mostly in relation to graphic design and business models. But I am adopting the concept for myself as a way to keep those ideas that will take time to come to fruition in front of me without obsessing on them. I’m looking forward to lots more post-it notes. And sketches. And swatches.

Where is my idea wall, you say? Over my zazen space. It is appropriate for now, but one day, when I really allow myself to be wildly free and creative, I am going to have a big wall, covered in corkboard and pretty fabric, and it will hold all my wonderful ideas until I get a chance to flesh them out. Like the two small boards I have now, only bigger…for bigger ideas. Long term things. Pieces of puzzles.

Tonight is the Super Bowl, of course: the one football game per year that I actually watch, mostly for the commercials and to rag on the half-time show. We’ve laid on supplies of party food: pizza, wings, soda, chips.

Later tonight, once the kids are in bed, I will sit in that chair with a cup of tea and journal. I really need to get back into my self-care groove after the weather disruptions of the past week. But, dang, it did feel good to sleep in. And also to stay up late.

Oh, after I took the picture, I started writing this blog post in my head. And then, about three-quarters of the way through, I realized I had forgotten it was Sunday again, and that I should be giving you a selfie. Oops.

Marscon Day 2

Jan19

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Guys. I’m sorry. It is 9:28 as I sit down to type and I have just realized that it is Sunday and I should be posting a selfie. Please forgive me. I pretty much have not stopped since last Sunday. I look the same, with 3 more grey hairs and a deeper line between my eyebrows. Also, dark circles under my eyes, because sleep. I need it. We will get back to the SPS next week.

Today was the final day of Marscon. I attended a panel on steampunk and decided that yes, I am a fan. Historical science fiction. What ifs. Elegant clothing. Mechanical toys. What’s not to love? Just the LOOK of it makes me happy. I am already designing my costume for next year. No, I’m not telling you about it yet, but the whole image popped into my head complete, so I know it is going to be good. I will be “thrfting” as much of it as possible, and I am really looking forward to watching it come together. I promise, you will not be surprised when you see what I have done; instead you will nod your head in agreement that it is practically perfect in every way for me.

Now let’s talk about the picture! The last time my oldest child was home, she brought with her an embossed leather journal. It was the most beautiful shade of purple and had a huge butterfly on it. That thing has been on my mind for YEARS. But, when I am journaling, I really journal. I mean to say, I burn through the paper like fire will take a field of dry corn. And those embossed leather journals are spendy. I much prefer the thick books for $6.99 or the thin composition books you can get in August for $.99. Much more cost effective. But. Leather. So pretty. So fragrant. So permanent. So unavailable as a refillable holder for the notebooks I most often use. Right up until my table was set up across from a leather worker at Marscon. I ordered this design today as a folio. I am way excited. The maker is www.finelineleatherdesign.com. (They asked that I give them credit in exchange for using this picture .) Friendly folks, and priced lower than I expected based on the internet research I have done, in which I found plenty of pricey folios in all the wrong sizes. They had several designs, but this is the one that most appealed to me. I’m a classic gal drawn to classic images I guess. Besides, writing really is meditative for me, so what better symbol could there be for my journal? And, it will always look the same. There is an appeal to that for me that I really can’t explain. You will either get it or you won’t.

Okay. Con is over, work is done. I’m going down to spend a few minutes in the hot tub, with my hairy legs and wearing a t-shirt and panties, because I didn’t bring a suit. Don’t fret, the situation has been scoped out for me by my friend. There aren’t any fellas there and the ladies said they wouldn’t mind.

The Writing

Jan6

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So, this is my journal. And my pink pen. Which will be replaced with another color when it runs out. I eschew blue and black when it comes to non-work/school things. I buy pens by the huge package and pass out the boring colors to my kids. I also won’t write with orange or lime green, because it’s too hard to read what I have written later. That was called a tangent.

So, writing. First, the journal itself. That’s 340 pages there, and I intend to fill it up this year. I’ve started journaling at night for a couple of reasons. 1) I try to meditate in the morning now. 2) I have 8am classes again this semester, and I discovered last semester that if I have the intent to journal in the morning and don’t get to it before I leave the house, then I don’t get it done at all. I didn’t even fill up a 100 page notebook from May to December of last year. That’s pretty damning for a gal who once had a three page a day habit. 3) I have some crazy-ass mornings, even when I don’t have 8am classes. It’s the nature of being mom to the masses, and if something CAN go wrong here, it is going to happen before I have had my coffee. 4) At night, I can reflect on the day and make a list of things for which I am grateful. Ergo, night journaling, and it’s working so far.

Obviously, I’m blogging. Woohoo, because I have missed it. I think I mentioned that I was doing Jeff Goins’ My 500 Words challenge?? So far, the blogging has filled that quota for me. I don’t expect that will be the case for the year, and probably not even for the rest of this month. But it’s giving me an attainable goal, and I like that. At this point, I’m planning to keep going with that all year, whether he continues the challenge or not.

I’m still writing poems now and again, whenever inspiration strikes. Lately, it’s been haikus. It is more difficult than you’d think to get your point across in 5/7/5 syllables. It’s also pretty dang satisfying. When I pare down to that, I know I have not wasted any space at all either on the page or in your head.

I also have a book in progress that I am writing with a partner. We started it during November for NaNoWriMo, and hit about 13,000 words each. Then we were both affected by the same set of circumstances, and the writing mojo withered. It’s been difficult to get back to it. I think there are several things going on there. I think there is the onus of failure, even though we talked it over and agreed that what was going on apart from the book was more important, vastly more important, than the work of the book and that we needed to focus on the other thing. And then, too, I think the book now reminds me of the other thing, and I don’t like the other thing, so I avoid the book. (Yes, the other thing is still going on.) And finally, there is just the loss of momentum. We were tearing that shit UP. It was on, and it was hot, and it was shaping up to be everything we had planned for it to be. And then it stopped. Like a bus hitting a wall and ending up the size of a smart car. BAM. Now we need to unfold the bus, try to smooth it back out and climb back in. That’s tough. But I’m publicly committing to getting back to the book, because it’s a good story, and it needs to be written, and we need to write it. And I can do 500 words, if I will just do it.

See, here I am at just over 600 and it took less than 20 minutes. So. Doable. Yes, I have switched over. I am now giving myself a pep talk. I should stop. I’ve said all I need to say to an audience, and now I just need to do the work. Oh, that’s always the rub, isn’t it? Just doing the work. Reminds me of what I journaled last night: if I don’t like my reality, instead of distracting myself to escape it, I can just change the reality. Sometimes I give myself some good advice!